The Elephant's Child

So Why Should I Support Mission Aviation?

Because this is what upcountry West African roads look like in DRY SEASON.

Wanna learn more? Look here.

There's No Right Way to Sauce a Groundnut.

A friend speaks of carbapathy, a disease unique to those of us who try to stretch our grocery dollar farther than the cables on the Golden Gate Bridge. 

Rice, packaged for
safe handling by Americans.

Real cooked rice is your friend in times of economy, but Americans really aren't very good with rice.  We fear it.  Even when we're good at it, it gets boring. Chicken, cheese, vegetable, rice. Chicken, cheese, vegetable, rice. Do not despair!  The rest of the world stands by, waiting to help.  Consider it a sort of CarbAid.

My world-traveling sister-in-law undoubtedly knows several clever things to put over rice; she's spent time in southern and eastern Africa.  I'll have to pester her for a guest post or two.  What I'd like to share with you, though is something rather uniquely West African: Groundnut Stew.  My brother has made it recently with chicken, but it's just as yummy made meatless, and more economical as well. His version is fancy.  Mine, culled from an ancient library book some years ago, is a little more simple.  I'll get to the actual recipe in a moment.  First, I'm going to make you listen to my rant about rice and the dreadful things Americans do to it. Ha!

Rice is not hard to cook. And it is also not pasta. It is supposed to be sticky. The entire world eats their rice sticky.  Rice that is not sticky is an abomination, a freakish creation of American marketing. PWAH! Here's how to cook white rice.  Buy the cheapest rice you can. Do not buy Uncle Ben's Perverted Converted Rice.  Do not buy "instant" rice. Do not spend money for "long grain" rice.  Buy cheap.  It's rice, for pete's sake.  Get a heavy pot (a cast iron dutch oven works great, and you'll pick up some extra iron while you're at it) put as much rice as you want to cook into the bottom. Now, cover with water to the depth from your thumbnail touching the surface of the rice to your 1st thumb knuckle. Very scientific, yes?  Cover with lid, bring to a boil. Once rice is boiling, turn down the heat to almost nothing.  DO NOT STIR. Do not peek.  Do not open lid. It will take about 20-30 minutes to cook.  Pay attention, and after a few pots, you'll be able to smell when the rice starts to caramelize and will get the hang of getting it off the heat just as that happens.  Of course, the correct thing to do is to eat that caramelized rice afterward, scraping it out with a large metal spoon. Mmmm. Crunchy. My rice lecture complete, here's the recipe.

Groundnut Stew from a book somewhere, doubled, and with alterations.

3 med. onions, chopped
Peanut oil for sauteing

Saute until onions are translucent. Mash into the cooked onions,

2 ripe bananas

African pepper or cayenne, but the African is better.  I use only 1/8 teaspoon of African cayenne; start with that and adjust up, since this is only a TINY fraction of the amount of pepper that would be in this sauce in West Africa. Despite 11 years in Liberia, I do not have asbestos mucus membranes.

A sprinkle of ground ginger - about 1/4 teaspoon.

Saute 10 min. more then add,

2 tablespoons honey

18 oz (or three 6-oz cans) tomato juice.

Cook a little bit more, then stir in until melted and incorporated,

8 oz, or 1 cup, natural peanut butter. Or, if you prefer to authentic, "ground nut paste."

At this point, I remove about 1/2 of the sauce and run it briefly through my blender.  If you've chopped your onion nice and fine, or you prefer a chunky sauce, this step isn't necessary. Serve sauce over rice with an assembly of toppings; crushed peanuts, green onion, pineapple, flaked coconut, etc.  Get creative; raid the fridge.  Bean sprouts, edamame, broccoli, left over chicken? 

Oh, and I forgot to tell you: This dish looks exactly like baby poo.  But it's comfort food of the highest order; I could eat it three times a week.

The Nigerian Scammers Have Moved to Kuwait, errr... the Ivory Coast.

Dearest in Christ,
 
I greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ our Lord, we have to worship our Lord Jesus Christ with all our heart because we have determined to remain under the covering of His anointing, Obedience to His purpose and living a life that honors Him will keep us under His hand of blessing. (If anyone wants proof that we're exporting the prosperity gospel to Africa, well, there ya go.)
 
I am Mrs.rosemary jones from Kuwait. (Ummm, Kuwait? Rosemary Jones?)  I am married to Late Mr Lambert  jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast (Oh, HIM!) for nine years before he died in the year 2005.We were married for eleven years with a daughter (Lilian) who lather died (Excuse me?) in a motor accident. (Did it involve a carwash?) My husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death we were both born again Christian.
 
Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (US$3.8million) (Holy mackerel; I knew working for the Foreign Service was a good deal! Boy, was I right!)  Three million Eight hundred thousand  US dollars in a Bank here in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire.Presently, this money is still in the bank. (Safest place for my money and yours, Mrs. Jones!)
 
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. (I'm disturbed by your stroke sickness, too. It seems to make you write 419 scam letters.) Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity organization or to an individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein and it was according to the wish/desire of my husband before he died.
 
I want an organization that will use this fund for orphanages, school,church and widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth".I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers.
 
I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. (You mean, scamming stupid people out of their bank account information isn't "ungodly?" I was sure it was.) This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord.Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace".
 
I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives are around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.With God all things are possible.   As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank here in Abidjan Cote d Ivoire.
(Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!)
 
I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church / Organisation or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply. (No can do.  Riffing your email, though? Happy to oblige.)
 
Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ.

Mrs.rosemary jones, (a "Kuwaiti" with a distinctly Nigerian/Liberian/Ghanaian name.)

The fact that these emails continue to proliferate means that the scammers are still managing to scam people, even after all the publicity these sorts of things have had.  Very sad.

 

The Forgotten Continent.

Zimbabwe continues its decsent into Hell. From Grace Mutandwa, an employee of the British Embassy:

There is something very wrong and we can not even ask God anymore to put it right because God left Africa ages ago - in fact when he did he never even passed through Zimbabwe. (Source)

In another post, written around Christmas 2008, Mutandwa writes,

I am not sure I am still a believer. Too much pain has passed through the country this year. There is too much sadness, insecurity, fear and almost absolutely no hope for a future.

+ + + + + + + + +

Meanwhile, all over Africa (and the world, really), children and adults, but mostly children, continue to die in droves from one of the world's most preventable diseases, malaria. Because of the world-wide furor over Rachel Carson's Silent Spring, DDT fell out of use. It was banned in many places; still is, in the United States. Yes, there are other pesticides effective against the mosquitoes that spread malaria. But DDT is one of the best, and one of the most economical. It can be sprayed on the inside surfaces of house walls (called indoor residual spraying, or IRS), where the residual dried chemical kills mosquitoes that land on the surface.  The World Health Organization stated in 2006, "Programmatic evidence shows that correct and timely use of indoor residual spraying can reduce malaria transmission by up to 90 percent." (Source)  And the  USAID states,

The fact is that DDT is more effective and less expensive than many other insecticides in many situations; as a result, it is a very competitive choice for IRS programs.   DDT specifically has an advantage over other insecticides when long persistence is needed on porous surfaces, such as unpainted mud walls, which are found in many African communities, particularly in rural or semi-urban areas.

But environmental action groups continue to oppose the use of DDT, and general bias against using it continues despite official voices at the WHO and USAID calling for DDT to be reinstated. Robert Bates of the American Enterprise Institute wrote in 2007,

The voices arguing against DDT have become louder recently, in part because funding for other interventions has come under threat. Countries are using other insecticides in their expanded spray programs, but they are not using DDT.  [...] The environmental movement continues to exaggerate the dangers of DDT. Some corporations go even further. Bayer actively discouraged the use of DDT in Uganda, citing a possible threat to the country's supply of food for export. [...] Bias in the academic literature is accelerating. A recent article in The Lancet Infectious Diseases alleges that superior methods for malaria control exist--without providing a single reference for this claim.

Honestly, sometimes I think the Western world only cares when white babies die.

Much thanks to Iowahawk for calling his readers' attention to the stupidity of the continued bias against the use of DDT.

African Lutherans.

Totliso, my esteemed sister-in-law of vast East and South African experience, and recently returned from work in Ethiopia, shares the following after watching the video I posted the other day:

Observations from central Tanzania which may also apply to a larger part of East/Southern Africa: 1) Catholics have the best choirs, hands down. 2) Lutherans have the second best choirs and the best drummers. 3) Anglicans are a distant third on both counts.

Whilst living in Monrovia, Liberia, my family attended St. Peter's Lutheran Church a couple times a month. The singing would make Motown hang its collective head in shame.  Harlem choirs would unplug their Hammond B3's and pack them into closets in embarrassment.  The service was hot, it was long, and it was it was loud. But mercy me, that choir could sing. And they sang from that balcony you see in the photo, not from the front.  They're Lutherans, after all!  (This is the only photo I could find online of the interior of the church.  It's a pretty big sanctuary, as you can see.)

Some very, very bad things happened there just a few months after my family left Liberia, but I'll leave you to research that. I suspect that's what Pastor Thomas Paye, pictured above, was telling the Washington Post reporter about when this picture was taken.  For now, I'll just remember my sweating, aching rear end as I prayed for the service to end so I could go home and get out of my sticky, uncomfortable church clothes.  I'll remember the choir processing down the aisle with a cross singing "Soon and Very Soon," and I'll remember people making change out of the offering plate, and the choir starting up a second round of songs for the second round of offerings, since the first round was never quite enough.  The offerings, all loose coin, got poured together on the altar, right next to the microphone. Oh, the noise!

Fun Facts About Kwanzaa, Part III

Just a little bit of follow-up from my sister-in-law.  She commented on my last Kwanzaa post,

...and what's up with the second 'a'? I believe a doubled vowel at the end of a Swahili word moves the stress to the final syllable (instead of the penultimate syllable, where it's usually found). That would make it "kwan-ZAA", which no longer means "first". In fact, I don't even know if that would be a real word anymore. Did they just think it looked cooler and more African with the double 'a'?

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: Never go in against a linguist when your reputation is on the line.  Hahahahahahahaha...... thunk.

I Am Just a Tiny Person In Africa.

I had a farm in Africa...   Oops. Wrong book.  Wait... Ok, here we go.  From The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, by Alexander McCall Smith:

"And she thought: I am just a tiny person in Africa, but there is a place for me, and for everybody, to sit down on this earth and touch it and call it their own."

I didn't expect to like this book, as I'm not a big reader of fiction in general, and mystery and detective novels in particular. I have a high opinion, though, of the readers of my blog, one of whom asked me to read this book; and so I went outside of my normal prowling through the Dewey decimals and ventured forth into the regions marked "F." 

Fun Facts About Kwanzaa, Part II

Barb The Evil Genius commented, on my previous post about Kwanzaa:

The whole holiday is nothing but a made-up excuse to avoid Christianity anyway.

Well, let's find out, shall we?  From our Official Kwanzaa source:

Kwanzaa was not created to give people an alternative to their own religion or religious holiday. And it is not an alternative to people's religion or faith but a common ground of African culture.

And, from another page:

Celebrated from 26 December thru 1 January, its origins are in the first harvest celebrations of Africa from which it takes its name. The name Kwanzaa is derived from the phrase "matunda ya kwanza" which means "first fruits" in Swahili, a Pan-African language which is the most widely spoken African language.

To which I reply: What. Ever. Again with the Swahili?

I happen to agree with Barb the Evil Genius, even though the founder of Kwanzaa says otherwise.  Many Africans, if they celebrate anything in December, and aren't Muslim, celebrate CHRISTMAS.  Shocking, eh?  In fact, on the streets of Monrovia, the capital city of Liberia, it was common to hear beggers asking, "Missy, where ma Chree-muh? Where ma Chree-muh?" Where's my Christmas.

I lived in West Africa 1979-1982, then '83-'87, and then from '88-'90.  (Wasn't born there, to answer The Gauntlets question, although my two youngest siblings were.) My sister-in-law has worked in Namibia, Lesotho, and Ethiopia. She has also traveled in Tanzania and has studied and spoken Swahili.  Neither of us has ever encountered something of such froophy goofiness as "Kwanzaa" on the African continent.

Fun Facts About Kwanzaa.

From The Official Kwanzaa Website:

The greetings during Kwanzaa are in Swahili. Swahili is a Pan-African language and is chosen to reflect African Americans' commitment to the whole of Africa and African culture rather than to a specific ethnic or national group or culture.

Correction: Swahili is spoken in approximately nine countries of Africa, with less than one million speakers world-wide. (Source)  There are 54 countries in Africa, with a total population of about 680 million. To say that Swahili is a "pan-African" language is so wrong as to be downright hilarious.

An African Round Up, With, Admittedly, Too Many Links.

Well, Robert Mugabe's economic policies in Zimbabwe are proving so successful that considerations are underway to make it possible for him to choose his own successor. Of course, whomever the successor is will have to do without such items as soap and cooking oil, since I'm rather underconvinced that the state-run company that's bought out Heinz in Zimbabwe is going to be able to keep producing much of anything.

At least Mugabe doesn't have to deal with an Ebola virus outbreak; that's DR Congo's problem for the moment. Of course, Mugabe would probably just rename it "Seasonal Affective Disorder," blame it on a conspiracy of the Evil West and be done with it. Problem sovled!

And finally, a fraud ring has been uncovered in....
wait for it....
...
...
... Nigeria.  No way!