1. I think one reason my book writing ground to a halt was learning that the hideously popular A Number of Shades of a Nondescript Color also opened with a woman meeting an apparently well off and somewhat mysterious man in an expensive car. All of a sudden I felt like anyone reading my book would assume I was copy-catting that stupid travesty of writing. Grossssssssss.
2. The longer you go without looking at your manuscript the easier it is to convince yourself that it's awful and terrible and not worth bothering to finish. You become afraid to look at it, for fear of being proven right.
3. Life went from "kinda tight financially" to downright scary (for me at least. Perhaps others of a better attitude and more calm mind might have managed better. But that is not me.)
4. I was well and truly stuck with the book. There are missing transitions that I don't know how to handle. There are some unresolved plot issues. There's a miscarriage that I just don't know what to do with, and there's an unfinished and underdeveloped religious element that I just can't decide whether to keep or dump.
5. While I have finally been able to quit my Crappy Retail Job (TM), thanks to a very good husband who takes very good care of me, I still feel some pressure to Make Some Money. As I was thinking about this today, though, what I'd really love to do is completely ditch my Etsy store, which has never really been even a modest money maker, in any way, and simply do. nothing. for a while. No sewing for money, no trying to make a go of my little car-consulting business (which I started and then was unable to do anything with due to my Crappy Retail Job.)
So, there is sort of where things stand, four years and five months since I wrote that first burst of a blog post back in April of 2011 that started me on a book-writing journey.
Hope for the future:
a. My kid is now thirteen years old and starting to write significant amounts herself. I can actually talk with her about the "little mouse" that is shy to come out and write and she understands what I mean.
b. Said kid is old enough to sometimes go with Daddy on business trips, leaving me in an empty, quite house with no meals to prepare for anyone.
c. At the moment, and for the next two months or so, I don't have to triage the grocery list. Amazing how much more clearly you can think when you can buy a proper amount of groceries.
d. It's going to be fall and winter soon, and the outside work will go away, and weekends will have more inside time.
I don't know what to do about #2 above. I'm still sort of scared to really dig into my book, since it's been so long. I think I need to seek out some ways to change my scenery and "get away", in order to find a fresh start. I have standing invites from friends in several parts of the country for visits; the trick is arranging care for my 13 year old (family she can stay with all live 180+ miles away) and figuring out travel costs.
And I need to figure out how to chain the social media beast without also cutting myself off from all the people that actually want me to finish this book. More about that later. I have an idea or two, but I want to try it for a few days or a week before I talk about it.