"...if John Holt were alive today, I think he would be saddened by the efforts of some people who try to turn his term ‘unschooling’ into some sort of a system, into a set of rules that must be followed. John trusted parents to learn from their experience with their children. He didn’t say, ‘If you’re going to call it unschooling, you’re going to have to do it my way.’ He wanted them to figure out what was right for them, for their whole family.” Source.
Probably the biggest piece of advice I (and other homeschooling moms who have been homeschooling more than 2 years or so) give out, over and over again, is that you need to do what works for you and for your kid, whatever that is, and entirely regardless of what labels or methodology that hot mess fits into or doesn't fit in to.
That means making no apologies to your loosey-goosey homeschooling friends who "wing it" with the lesson plans when you, as a Mom, need a nifty little spreadsheet of what everyone's supposed to be working on so you don't go stark raving mad.
It means not acting like you've commited some crime because you use a checklist when someone says that a checklist drives them nuts.
That means making no apolgies for "unschooling" reading and literature and letting your kid read comics and tripe for now even if you're using a neato pre-packaged boxed curriculum for science and math and grammar and Latin, as long as it's working for you and your kid. You are allowed to mix methodologies.
That means no guilt if you're forcing your kid to read the booklist that came with that pre-boxed curriculum even when Betsy and Marge's kids are reading whatever they want, as long as it's working for you and your kid. So stop acting like you "should be" doing more unschooly stuff, ok?
That means not taking it personally when someone is desperate for help, drowing in trouble with homeschooling her kids and she gets advice from others that is different from the way you do things.
It means not getting angry when someone says your way of doing things won't work for them. They are different than you. Their kid is not your kid. That it won't work for Brittney's family doesn't mean the method you've suggested is stupid
It means stopping the obsession with labels already.
That is enough.