The Roach and Me.

We go way back, the cockroach and I.

There was the time one crawled out of the overflow drain in the bathtub while I was in the shower, and the time after that when I could see just its antennae sticking through the drain cover. 

I screamed and bolted from the bathroom both times.

And the time one scuttled out of dresser drawer at boarding school.  

I screamed and ran down the hall for that one.

I screamed for the roach up on the wall, the roach in the sink, and the roach on the floor. 

But the most heart-stopping roach was the one that launched itself at me out of my gym locker when I was in fifth grade, while I was changing out of my gym clothes and back into my regular clothes.

I screamed.  The girl next to me screamed.  The girls next to her screamed, and jumped up onto the wooden bench, clutching clothing and towels to their chests.  Within a few seconds, ten or so girls were screaming with all the power, volume, and pitch with which puberty blesses young women.

The screaming made me bold.  I grabbed my brand-new first-ever can of spray deodorant (this was in the days when you could still buy aerosol cans) and I went after that roach.

And I killed him dead.  Legs up, twitching. Carapace down, stuck to the floor.

With Powder-Fresh Secret. 

Comments

[Deirdre]

Yes ma'am, this post was good for New Orleans memories. My sisters tried different substances to see what killed cockroaches fastest.

First they had to turn on the closet or bathroom light. And wait. Then, if the novice cockroach ambled across their path they applied anything that sprayed from a can. And waited. You are right though, I think I remember hearing deodorant worked best. But hairspray was interesting. Baby powder or comet cleanser: not so good. Screaming is also essential.

can't wait to remind the sisters...

[Joy]

Shame on you. God loves His whole creation!

(jk. I'd have done the same, all the while yelling, "Back to hades, you agent of Satan!")

[Elephantschild]

I think of roaches like Tolkien's Orcs - created beautiful and good; soiled, twisted and fouled by the Enemy.

[Pam]

I remember when we were moving out of married student housing at STL. the secretary and her husband came with a big truck to move us to Minnesota. The cockroaches that the seminary refused to acknowledge had nowhere more to hide, so they scuttled back an forth across the kitchen floor. I was so embarrassed, but I'm almost certain that the Minnesota folk never saw a cockroach in person before...I've yet to see one in Minnesota or North dakota...one benefit of sub zero temperatures in the winter!

[Elephantschild]

In Wisconsin, cockroaches are only for the nasty, run-down inner city apartment buildings. Even then, they tend to be the smaller types.

It was hard to deal with having them in our house when we moved farther south in Flyover Country. I mean, I'm a good housekeeper! Roaches are for AFRICA!

[Barb the Evil Genius]

I only saw one once, and that was in the bathroom of the college dorm that was literally about a hundred years old. A couple of years after I left, the chimney dropped through the ceilings, so then they had bigger things to worry about.

[Tressa]

We had the good ones in Singapore. I didn't go into the bathroom at night until I had turned the light on and counted to 10 to give them time to scatter. I think they moved my toiletries when I wasn't looking. When we moved to Florida, the pest control man was my favorite repair guy. I happily wrote that check every 3 months. We don't have them in Washington. I am thankful for small mercies!

[Diane]

Yup, the roaches in the tub drain were bad. That's why I never was the first person to take a shower. I only showered AFTER someone else had. The creepiest part was seeing what seemed to be dozens of antennae wiggling in the overflow drain. When living on Old Road, I remember waking up one night because something ran across my hand. Never knew if it was a cockroach or something else. It still creeps me out thinking about it.